Tag: sexuality

Sexual affairs – yes or no?

In recent surveys of people living in committed relationships, 50% of respondents admitted to having sex outside their primary relationship at least once.

This is in spite of the fact that most people rank fidelity and honesty at the top of their list of relationship requirements.

What drives people to have sex outside their relationships? And why is it so exciting when a sexual affair literally falls into their laps?

Does an affair spell the end of a relationship? Should people discuss their affairs with their partners?

I think there are two main factors to consider here:

  1. Whether both partners can completely satisfy their sexual needs within the relationship.
  2. Each partner’s ability to see themselves as an object of desire.

If there’s a big gap between partners in terms of their sexual fantasies and/or how often they want to have sex, it can have a negative impact on their sex life as a couple.

And it’s equally problematic if one partner doesn’t feel attractive or desired.

Of course there are other things that can damage the sex lives of people in long-term relationships, including the boredom and routine that tends to set in over time—and we don’t want to underestimate them.

While an affair can’t save a sexual relationship, it can help point out where it might be lacking. It can also serve as a reminder of a person’s attractiveness and worth.

I did some research on a popular Internet dating site to see how many contact requests a woman over 50 could get. Within 10 minutes, there were 45 contact requests, from men ages 18 to 80!

So if you’re a woman who’s reading this, I’d like to tell you that there’s no need to put up with chronic sexual dissatisfaction in your relationship. And I want to give you full permission to live out your sexuality.

That said, even if you want to live out your sexuality, you don’t necessarily need to have a sexual affair if you’re in an otherwise healthy relationship.

But if you do choose to have an affair, it’s important to think it through beforehand.

Here are some tips to consider:
  • Never have unprotected sex outside a committed partnership—you don’t want to risk any kind of infection for you or your partner.
  • Think about the real reasons you’re having an affair.
  • Talk with your partner about it hypothetically, or in the third person (what would happen if…?)
  • Only tell your partner about the affair if it affects your future together. If you’re looking to ease your conscience, do it in a therapy session or with someone you trust.
  • Learn from the affair and accept the consequences if necessary.
  • Think about the possibility that the affair could develop into the love of your life!

Voilà.

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Menopause – a myth?

I think of the term “menopause” as a fictional diagnosis.

In fact, there are regions in the world where the term is virtually unknown. For example in Asia. In Western countries, on the other hand, menopause is not only considered a big deal, but it’s also presented as source of suffering for women.

However, I would argue that the phase of life in which women no longer have the biological ability to get pregnant is far less dramatic from a physiological point of view than many believe.

Even during menopause, women retain over half of their female hormones.

At the same time, the male hormone testosterone starts to take over. As a result, many women suddenly feel a greater desire for sex. As the saying goes: “There’s no fox like an old fox.”

A lesser-known fact is that men are much worse off than women as they age. Why? As their testosterone levels drop over time, men lose part of their sex drive—and this isn’t something they can restore naturally.

For women, on the other hand, it’s possible to find substances in the plant world that replicate the effects of female hormones. First and foremost, I want to mention soy, the miracle plant. Tofu and its cousins are outstanding sources of phytoestrogens (estrogen derived from plants). In addition, there’s a whole range of plants, including yam root, that can create effects similar to the female hormone progesterone.

These plant-based substances make it possible for women to balance out hormonal deficits in their bodies.

Whatever your gender, if you believe you’re going through “menopause”:

Two “S’s”—sports and sex—

are the most effective things you can do. Both activities create a hormone release that helps keep the body balanced and fit. If you often work up a sweat during sports or sex, hormone-related sweating becomes less and less of an issue.

Ultimately, it’s up to us as individuals to determine whether or not we’re going through “menopause.”

My gender-neutral prescription for “menopause” is:
  • Exercising 3 times per week
  • Having sex 2 times per week
  • A tasty tofu-based dish 2 times per week
  • And for women: Yam root supplements in the form of tea or skin gel, 2 weeks per month.

Voilà.

 

Live out your sexuality

I’d like to focus on female sexuality in this post.

This is still a taboo topic, and it’s often perceived as unimportant or secondary. I particularly want to address the meaning and significance of sexuality for women during their prime. After all, sexuality isn’t something that only belongs to the young and beautiful.

We know that sex represents “the world’s greatest pasttime” for men. But what does it represent for us?

First of all, I’d like to clarify the biological foundations of female sexuality. The statement that “female sexuality is practically inexhaustible” hits the nail on the head.

Of course, this statement doesn’t refer to the prerequisites for getting pregnant. As we know, they are limited. However, as women, we have the potential to retain the ability to reach sexual climax into old age. Meanwhile, some men experience a certain decline in their capacity to reach orgasm from their mid-50s onwards.

Besides our ability to achieve climax into old age, here’s the cherry on the sundae for women: the female body is also capable of having an orgasm several times in a row.

Still, many women might say there are more important things in life than sex.

I would argue that this statement comes from having limited experience with satisfying sex, or from banishing sex from our consciousness. For women, sexual climax isn’t just about momentary pleasure. It also creates a hormone release that facilitates health, balance, and external attractiveness.

This is reason enough to come to terms with your own sexuality.

At the same time, it’s important to take a look at your sexual partner(s).

Apart from women in happy relationships with satisfying sex lives, there are many women who either don’t have satisfactory sex with their partners or who simply don’t have a sexual partner. In this case, you want to take the responsibility for your sexuality into your own hands—literally.

These days, there are a myriad of ways to find “technical assistance” in this area, depending on your individual preferences. The biggest online retailer in the world has thousands of options available. They work beautifully, giving women the sexual satisfaction their partners might not be able to provide.

However, if you prefer to go without “technical assistance,” i.e. if you prefer to connect with a physical partner to feel satisfied, “sexting” can be a good alternative. But be careful: this approach has the potential to become addictive, so don’t rely on it too heavily.

Here’s my tip: put on your most beautiful lingerie, light some candles, pour yourselves a glass of wine (or not!), pick out your favorite erotic movie or chat for a while—and off you go.

Two times a week is a healthy amount. Have fun!

What you can do furthermore BioAge; How you can lower your Biological Age

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Love your fat cushions!

Looking at the paintings from the Rubens era, I ask myself why the ideals of female beauty have changed so much over the years.

The gaunt models on today’s catwalks would have been out of the question as models for artists like Rembrandt. Still, current beauty icons have a huge impact on the world of women today and drive many girls to despair.

On social networks, on billboards, and in the media, fit bodies represent health and attractiveness. They’re showcased as role models, or prerequisites, for happiness.

In that spirit, various diets and sports programs come into play as declarations of war against fat deposits and belly fat—which supposedly cause disease and represent a mortal sin.

Don’t get me wrong: Exercise and a healthy diet can certainly help keep us fit and beautiful.

But the question is: are we allowed to have a little “fat padding” or not? And, if so, how much? My position is clear: Women need a healthy amount of fat padding!

Why? Our fat padding contains a considerable amount of female hormones, especially estrogens, which help keep the body elastic and supple. So if we’re missing fat deposits, we’re also missing a stock of hormones we might need!

On the question of attractiveness: According to a survey, many men find women with curves more attractive than women with flawless, fat-free, ultra-fit bodies.

An ultra-fit body may be considered a sign of athletic prowess. However, when it comes to sexuality, it’s less about athletic performance and more about warmth and relaxation. Read: Live out your sexuality

So, dear ladies, the next time you stand on the scale or look in the mirror and notice a little something pouring over the edge of your panties, stay calm and be kind to yourself. It’s just your curvy femininity, which the old masters knew how to appreciate in their day.

Love your body! And explain to your partner why they should love it, too!

Voilà.

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