Reality or Fantasy?

What makes us happy? A very good question to which there are certainly many answers.

A thousand things can make us happy, from a cup of good coffee in the morning to a hug from a loved one.

One thing seems certain: only things that really exist or really happen have real emotional value for us.

On the other hand, we consider the world of dreams or fantasies to be a waste of time and a disappointment if it does not correspond to reality.

But – Is that really the case?

The fact is – our brain cannot clearly distinguish between reality and fantasy.

It experiences ideas just as intensely as real events. An example: imagine a lemon that you would like to bite into. You immediately feel the fragrant peel and the sour taste of the juice on your lips. Your saliva starts flowing. You enjoy the whole process, assuming you’ve had this experience before.

As a result, you are also able to really experience certain experiences and emotions with the help of your imagination. This phenomenon was discovered scientifically a long time ago and is used in psychology. There are mental training programs that help athletes or patients feel better.

Everyone can use the power of imagination.

Are you not 25 years old anymore?
Then close your eyes, take a deep breath and imagine for a moment that it is you! What would happen? How would you feel? Your back straightens. You take one deep breath after another, you would feel energy and drive.
Have you always wanted to be a king or queen?
Then put on your most beautiful suit or dress, walk a few steps like a king or queen, greet your imaginary subjects with dignity. How does that feel? Are you king or queen for this moment?
Does that sound stupid?  You would never do that?

Are dreams of no use? Just the sole acceptance of reality?

It would be a shame to give up dreams! This would result in the loss of a very useful resource – the healing power of our imagination. Because with your imagination you can imagine and live through anything, almost like in reality.  Because needs that are not fulfilled eat away at our soul.

Here are my 5 tips for successful dreaming:

– Allow yourself to dream!
– Accept that some things remain just a dream and that’s a good thing!
– Perform personal, regular dream rituals by finding a quiet place or starting one after wakingup.
– Imagine your desired constellations as precisely as possible: what you want to feel, see or smell and how you feel.
– Enjoy the moment, know that this is good for your body and your soul, regardless of whether the dream comes true or not!
Voilà!
 
 

You can find everything you need within yourself

We want to be seen, loved and recognized, making a good impression.

Natural, understandable and honorable needs. Because we are social creatures, highly dependent on each other.

That’s how nature wants it. On the one hand, it encourages us to improve our personality and appearance. But on the other hand, pressure and doubt arise when the results do not meet expectations.

The word “expectations” contains the word “expect” for someone or something that could make us happy and content.

At the same time, nature has given us our own will and the freedom to make personal decisions. This not only affects actions, but also our feelings.

The expectations of other people are usually self-imposed chains. It’s up to us to get rid of them!

We can limit them and view our own possibilities as “unlimited”.

These options include:
  • Strengthening self-love, in all its facets. The power of self-love
  • To be present and completely with yourself in every moment without giving up control over your own feelings
  •  Planning individual experiences, independent of other people
  •  Creating retreats and visiting them regularly
  •  Respect and care for your own body
  •  Keep the inner dialogue positive
  •  Learning to let it go

Anyone who pays more attention to their inner self and seeks fulfillment and satisfaction there becomes more independent of external influences and other people and retains control over their own emotional world.

This helps you to cope better alone and gives you more calmness in everyday life.

Here are my 5 tips for more freedom and peace of mind:

1. Clearly define your main needs, preferably in writing

2. Ask yourself every day whether these needs can be met on your own

3. Build in beautiful self-love rituals every day: body care, styling, sexual experiences, Live out your sexuality , home-cooked food

4. Accept that you cannot be “everybody’s darling” and that this is a good thing

5. Write down 3 sentences why you can love yourself better than someone else, along the lines of “I can love me better than you can!”

Voilà.

True freedom comes from inner

Day in and day out we feel challenged, we are in demand and commited. We write to-do-lists, try to manage everything so as not to neglect this and that. Even recovery times are planned meticulously.

At the end of the day, we wonder if we really felt free, at least at times.

Free from challenges, desires and thoughts: this state of lightness and independence in absolute harmony with ourself and the moment. But something is always in the air. We never seem to get rid of it.

The good news is: we can keep it at a distance emotionally.

It’s not easy, but you can learn to face the circumstances of life with composure. Break free from your own desires and thoughts is a feat in comparison.

Our wishes and the thoughts associated with them are at the forefront. Desires ingenerel are not bad. If they advance us as a personality, expand our knowledge horizons or want to show someone our love, they are the lifeblood of our development.

On the other hand, there are wishes that should be questioned. Fears or the pursuit of fictitious values ​​are often behind it, such as unnecessary possessions or wanting to impress someone.

What sets us free is our authenticity. It requires healthy self-love The power of self-love, it is also important to take our needs seriously, not always to be everybodys darling, to stand by our opinion, to be aware of our strengths and weaknesses. Because true freedom comes from inner!

Here’s my good 7-point plan to “break free”:

  1. Ask yourself the question every day: “Is this my life? Do I want it like this?”

2. Check your wishes for sustainability, discover “substitute wishes” and do without them

3. See what you can remove from your to-do-list forever

4. Create space for breathing and relaxation exercises. They help you see things from a different perspective.

Cold and Deep Breathing: 2 Keys to Staying Young

5. Your bed is the place for dreams and pleasures, not a planning and project center

6. Never neglect your true needs, look for ways to fulfill them

7. See yourself as a part of the universe that guides and protects you. It helps to let it go. Spirituality:Humbug or Hope?

Voila!

 

 

 

Spirituality – Humbug or Hope?

The term “spirituality” comes from the Latin word “spirit” – and means “spirituality” or “inner life”.

In our materialized life there is unfortunately little space for questions of spirituality, at most on days like before Christmas.

Nevertheless, it is expressed in different directions of belief: within a religion, a community of interests or in intellectual debates with the world and oneself.

The latter aspect is particularly interesting because it is about individual attitudes towards life and beliefs.

If the world around us is constantly changing and sometimes appears threatening to us, then it is high time for inner contemplation in order to find stability.

Believing in the higher meaning of creation and that we cannot control everything, we come to inner strength. It gives us strength to change things that we can change or to accept things that cannot be changed.

“You are what you think” – this is why “Mind Care” is so important to control of own thoughts!  TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR THOUGHTS!

Spirituality brings inner serenity with it, which allows us to go through life more relaxed and joyful.

How does one come to an effective spirituality?

Here I’d like to share with you my 6 personal approaches to more spirituality in your life:;

  1. Connect yourself spiritually with something big – an idea, a movement, belief in a higher, protective power or in the eternal cycle of nature and so on …

2. Meditate regularly – ideally twice a day for 15 minutes, in order to be “in here and now” with yourself

3. Think “good” about yourself and other people, use positive thoughts like “I’m good enough” or “everyone tries their best”

4.  Define difficult life situations as challenges, try to see opportunities and what you can learn from certain experiences

5. Find your own life vision and bring it to your mind as often as possible. This will help you to pursue specific goals and implement them.

6. Learn the gratitude – write every evening 3 things, you are thankful for.

I wish you much success!

Voilà!

 

Our Inner Anchor

We’re living in an age where very few things last. Everything in our world seems to be in a constant state of flux, and it feels like we hardly have any influence over the way things keep changing.

By now, every one of us has had the experience of showing up at our favorite café only to discover that a casino (or something like it) has opened in its place.

The professional world has become more unpredictable, too. Not to mention our personal relationships: we make friends quickly, and we lose them just as quickly.

Even love has become interchangeable, thanks to so many online dating platforms where we can fulfill our every need. (If our partnerships are going through a rough patch, this can lead to more than a few surprises.)

On one hand, all of this fluidity is a sign of progress. On the other hand, it seems like most of the familiar and reliable things in our lives are disappearing.

In the face of so much change, it’s easy to lose our bearings and feel as vulnerable as a tiny boat in a stormy ocean. In this case, we either need nerves of steel or a “nothing really matters” attitude—or both.

However, there’s one constant that remains in the midst of this fragile scenario: you.

Ultimately, you’re the one who takes care of yourself over the course of your life. You’re the one who carries yourself through all of life’s twists and turns. Only you can take responsibility for the ups and downs in your life!

And no one can take this responsibility away from you. This is why it’s so important to create a stable, resilient psychological core, to build and maintain what I call an “inner anchor.”

When you have an inner anchor, the changes and upheavals you’ll inevitably face in your life don’t throw you off track.

What exactly is an inner anchor—and what does it consist of?

From my point of view, it consists of three key components:
  • The ability to accept things as they are
  • The ability to let things go
  • A healthy amount of self-love

When you build these three attributes, you improve your ability to cope with your external circumstances, no matter how serious they seem. You adopt an “it-is-what-it-is” attitude: if you can’t change your circumstances, then you learn to face them with calm and acceptance.

So what can you do to strengthen your inner anchor? Here are some powerful tools and exercises that I use:

  • Meditate at least 15 minutes a day—to create distance from your surface thoughts and connect with your true self.
  • If you perceive a problem in your life, acknowledge its right to exist.
  • Explore 3 possible solutions to this problem, and choose the one with the greatest long-term implications.
  • If you can’t solve the problem, let it be, and observe what happens as though you’re a spectator at a play.
  • Be conscious of your inner dialogue, taking care to focus on your freedom and independence. TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR THOUGHTS!
  • Look at yourself and your life in the context of the larger universe. This helps bring your ideas and assumptions into perspective.

Voilà!

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Create the world you want!

Scientifically speaking, when it comes to our experience of the world, just 10% consists of actual events—the other 90% is our reactions to them.

This 90% varies as widely as people’s lifestyles in different parts of the world. The world is beautiful or terrible, depending on how we (want to) see it.

I’m not talking about extreme situations like war or natural disasters. I’m not talking about looking at the world through rose-colored glasses, either. What I’m talking about is focusing on the positive, and either accepting or working to change the negative. Instead of putting yourself at the mercy of a worldview, I’m talking about trying to shape your experience of the world as much as you can.

I’ll show you how to turn a half-empty glass into a half-full one.

Do you have an inner critic or partner who wakes up with you and serves up your worries for breakfast? Is your stress level so high that you have no idea how to bring it down? Are you unsure about how to deal with the fears that other people project onto you? What about all your “good intentions”—to exercise more often, eat healthier, and sleep better?

You’ll find answers to these questions in my posts on this site.

In the meantime, I’d like to share with you my 10 personal strategies for experiencing the world in a more positive way—and feeling better in the process:

  1. After waking up, take some time for your morning rituals. Give your worries and problems a break. You gave them some of your time yesterday. Celebrate each new day as if it’s a gift.
  2. Review your to-do list. Schedule a 10-15 minute break between each task to move and do some deep breathing.
  3. Be grateful that you can experience the world in the first place. Try to look at it without judgment.
  4. Once a day, do something that takes you out of your comfort zone. Try something new! It can be something small, like walking on an unfamiliar path or trying an unusual flavor of chocolate. In the meantime, check in with yourself: “How am I doing right now? What feelings are coming up—and why?”
  5. Celebrate every success, no matter how small it seems. The key here is not to set the bar too high. Reward yourself with things that bring you joy.
  6. Practice self-love and try not leave too much room for self-criticism. Choose to focus on your strengths and achievements.
  7. Set aside about an hour each day to reflect on worries and problems. Write down 3 solutions for each problem. Choose the solution that most appeals to you and break it down into small steps, with a deadline.
  8. If someone offends you, question their behavior. Why did they talk or act this way? What’s their motivation? Why did I react the way I did? Remember: most personal attacks are based on other people’s fears, lack of self-esteem, or projections of their own problems. Try not to take everything personally! Surround yourself with people who think positively. Avoid spoilsports and whiners.
  9. Forgive yourself for your mistakes—and learn from them.
  10. Forgive others for their mistakes—and learn from them.

Voilà.

TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR THOUGHTS!

“THE HAPPINESS OF YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON THE QUALITY OF YOUR THOUGHTS,”  SAID THE ANCIENT PHILOSOPHER MARCUS AURELIUS.
FROM A HEALTHY NUTRITION PERSPECTIVE, I ALSO AGREE WITH THE MODERN-DAY SAYING, “YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT.”
ALONG THOSE LINES, MY PERSONAL MOTTO IS: “YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK.”

Our thoughts are literally written all over our faces. Not only is it exhausting to think one thing and try to communicate something else to the outside world. Besides that, when your body language and your words don’t align, you come across as inauthentic.

THE PRINCIPLE: THINKING THE RIGHT WAY!

But when it comes to our thinking, what’s right or wrong? First off, there are no wrong thoughts. At the same time, it’s still important to question them! Especially if you have the feeling that your thoughts are bringing you down somehow.

The best examples are:
  • Comparisons
  • Conventional beliefs
FOR EXAMPLE, THE SAYING “THAT’S JUST NOT DONE” IS ONE WE SHOULD THROW OUT LIKE AN OLD RAG. THE SAME GOES FOR COMPARISONS WITH OTHER PEOPLE. (FOR MORE ON THIS IDEA, SEE MY POST, BIO-AGE: THE MENTAL SIDE.)
THINK ABOUT IT:
  • You’re unique and one of a kind!
  • Be aware of this—and carry this awareness with you every day of your life!
  • Love yourself, inside and out, with “no ifs, ands, or buts!”
  • Treat yourself and others with kindness.
  • Be open to what others say. You want the people you meet to enjoy being in your presence, even if it’s only for a moment.
WAGE A POSITIVE INNER DIALOG!

This isn’t easy, because our survival instinct, which we inherited from our early ancestors, still dominates our thinking, constantly prompting us to look for the worst in every situation. Thankfully, unlike our ancestors, most of us no longer have to deal with life-threatening dangers on a daily basis. Still, we have to continue to remind ourselves that we’re (usually) not in any immediate danger.

Over time, as we become more aware of our instinctive thought patterns, negative thoughts don’t disappear completely. But they do gradually lose their power over us, allowing positive thoughts to take their place. Little by little, we internalize a positive self-image, which we can carry with us wherever we go.

On average, it takes about 66 days to establish a new habit. If we break it down, we can achieve this goal in just 7 minutes a day!

7-MINUTES-A-DAY “TALK TO YOURSELF”  EXERCISE:

(To get the most out of this exercise, repeat these phrases while looking in the mirror.

  • I feel great and at peace with myself!
  • Today I look good!
  • I’m unique and one of a kind!
  • Nothing can harm me—I’m independent and free!

What you can do furthermore BioAge; How you can lower your Biological Age

Voilá.

Feel free to write about them in the comments section below. Your e-mail adress w’ont be published.

The power of self-love

What is self-love, how do we express it?

Is it just an attempt to use manipulation to further your own interests?

Is it about only listening to yourself talk, without letting other people get a word in? Does it come down to a “me-first” kind of attitude? (A more common behavior among males than females) Throughout history, competition has governed male behavior: those who fail to compete miss out on opportunities for material success. They’re also less desirable. That’s the way nature works.

But a lot has changed in modern society. Along with their traditional relationship-oriented behavior, women are increasingly making claims on sources of power.

This is a good thing. But what about self-love, especially among women? Are women practicing it enough? By self-love I mean the ability to let go of the pressure to fulfill other people’s expectations. Not needing to please everyone, and not denying or disregarding your own basic needs.

Practicing self-love is easier if you consciously see yourself as a woman, and feel like a woman, no matter how old you are.

So how does this work?  By:

  • paying attention to yourself more often.
  • finding your inner anchor.
  • being aware of your soul, your body, and your sexuality, even if you don’t have a sexual partner.

Look in the mirror, acknowledge how attractive you are, caress yourself, and say “I love you!”

Stick to your own way of thinking, dressing and moving.

Practicing self-love gives us great power. It also enhances our ability to move through the world more calmly—and to feel more independent and self-confident.

When you love yourself, there are no limits to how much you can share your love with others! Read TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR THOUGHTS!

Voilà.

Feel free to write about them in the comments section below. Your e-mail adress w’ont be published.